bishop49er

Tonight

At dinner tonight I overate. I was so uncomfortable afterwards. Then later on I ate a bowl of Lucky Charms, which has sugar in it. I'm going to test my glucose after this.

After dinner I went out and bummed a cigarette, then later I was standing by the store and my neighbor saw me. She bought me a pack of cigarettes. The store owner told me not to stand out there and bum cigarettes like that.

The smoke is making me sick.

To smoke is being self destructive for me. It is masochistic to keep inhaling smoke I'm allergic to.

I guess I'm still depressed. I'm kinda worried that I'm not going to get my Social Security and State funds. I had to fill out papers for a renewal of both this week and I have to turn in papers by a certain date. I have to do an interview for my SSDI still. I did the interview for the State funds and still have to turn in paperwork. I'll be busy with this and some doctor's appointments this month. I need to do my laundry on Monday to I can shower and put on clean clothes.

I tried smoking. I'm getting the buzz I want but they are gagging me and making me cough. I'll die if I keep it up. And this time I don't want to.