The lonely codependent

Small step, big step

Google is my friend, so 'What causes love addiction'?
Answer: Childhood/abandonment trauma.

Does it count that all my teenage years were exactly like this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfJ2-N5EGRY

I guess so. But this information still doesn't help me as I'm aware of my past experience but I can't go back and change it. So there I go, here is some informaton that seems useful for me while it's not.

I need to keep looking for answers - and take action too because time always works against me but I have no clue how to make friends in the right way. If I'm too pushy that's the problem and if I'm not people will think I don't care at all. So this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.