colabear

the thing I long for

People tell me it's hard to find a friend who understands you. And I guess that's true.

But every day when I'm at school, a pain forms in my chest. A pain I want to tell someone about. It's a letter I want to stick into someone's locker, hoping they'll read it. It's a song I want to sing, hoping someone will hear it.

I don't feel lonely.

But when I sit among the crowd, I am abused. I start to think something's missing. Something that's making everyone run away.

I believe the abuser because why else would I feel this hole inside me? I tried to nod. I tried to laugh. Yet, all the nervousness and tension didn't make them stay. Instead, I sit in the corner, questioning myself all over again.

Maybe it's my problem. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. But I just want to feel accepted. I just want someone to care about me even though that might be asking for too much.