Straight Diary Entry.
Well life does improve as per the promise of recovery and I am extremely grateful to have this promise fulfilled like never before. Still a long way to go but for now, I'm satisfied and fairly happy with where I'm walking.
Reached the halfway point of painting the largest room of my tiny studio bedsit. Looks great, feels different ; a very good different. I have clean bedsheets up on the main front windows and I don't care. They're staying there until I finish the frames. I like white frames and they were white before I started painting them so white they stay. It's the sanding. A lot of sanding with painted wood surfaces and I like to sand between coats. (3 coats of paint plus a finishing sealer which is sprayed on.) Anyway I'm enjoying the project very much even though it's hard work on my body, it's a good experience.
Still got the lobby, two window frames in kitchen and the bath splashback to re-seal and re-paint. Front door almost halfway done, then I'll be finished. I'm sanding the wood trim around the base of the walls too and oiling them. There's a lot of wood in this tiny bedsit ; a LOT. I'm not doing all of it because I don't have a sander and my hands won't last the distance. It's taking a bit of a toll on my fibromyalgia so I'm just going along slowly now.
Haven't seen one of my feral tomcats for a few days. I hope he comes back soon. I worry about the Toms more than the little princess who lives with me.
I don't miss vaping now and it takes a good couple of months to detox completely from it. My body still craves nicotine just nowhere near as much as early detox.
44 years of smoking cigarettes, cigarillos and cigars.......gone for good. I don't miss this either. It is a very good thing that I never made pipe tobacco smoking a habit as well.
I'm fully immersed in my recovery life as I understand it and live it. My heart is moved to the finest things in life. The recent trauma has passed completely now.
Please forgive me my anger. I'm still unwell just nowhere near as unwell as I was before. There is light in the tunnel. I have travelled life in tunnels a very long time. One day there won't be any more tunnels to travel through. One day...
That's the promise.
And The Light that I see at the end of this present day tunnel is called Hope.
Millions of others have travelled here too. Millions of us.