AmberG

21/02

He finally messaged me again. I asked where we go from here. He couldn't answer. He said let's see what happens. No let's not. I'm not holding my hopes on a maybe. I told him I love him but this is too hard. He told me to look for someone else. I said I don't want anyone else. If I can't be with him I don't want anyone. I will just have to move on now and let him be. He made his choice. He said we are together but I can't tell anyone. I told him I'm not going to lie to surrogate mum. And she won't tell anyone. But she will tell me not to get back with him. Because she was there to pick up the pieces. She saw how broken I am. He said we put an end to it now as she obviously knows me better than he does. I don't know what he means by that. He went on to say we'll meet in the summer as friends. I asked him how that would work because it hurts to much not being with him. He made it clear he didn't want to be with me. He said he never said that. And we'll talk about it tomorrow. We'll see. I probably won't hear from him again for a few days.

Just when I think I'm starting to get better. He comes along and here are the tears again. I've taken a sleeping pill I can't deal with the rest of the evening