Up All Night
Schizophrenia destroyed my mother ... She quit watching her weight and gained weight. The disease ruined her brain and she acted silly or even weird. Sometimes it messed up her speech and she mispronounced words and did other things that made communicating with her very awkward. People noticed there was something wrong. She even became violent one night and broke the front windows out of the house. She spent much of her life in hospitals or nursing homes. Becoming suicidal later in life, attempting suicide by jumping from a cliff near a beach. The cliff overlooked water during high tide. She survived the jump and was found on the beach below. I went and visited her while she was in the hospital. I was a teenager at the time. I saw schizophrenia destroy my mother.
I can't say that schizophrenia hasn't destroyed me. I'm a survivor too. I sometimes wonder what I might've been without that disease. I quit going to college after finishing an English class. Writing I, I think. I recieved an A for the class. My major was Biology. I was working toward a degree. What would I have been?
One of the strange behaviors I'm having now is bumming cigarettes. I'm not an outgoing person, but when I'm craving nicotene I'll ask anyone for a cigarette. I have even asked my neighbors that smoke. They think I'm weird for asking. Another thing I'm having trouble with is my grooming. I need clean clothes right now. I'm going to have to take my laundry to the laundromat next pay day. I'm scheduled to start back at Therapeutic Rehabiltation. I need something clean to wear on the days I go, so I can shower in the morning and get ready for the day. I've been wearing what I'm wearing now for like a week because I only have two clean outfits left in my closet.