10:29 A.M. Monday New Zealand Time.
They care more for the sleazy creeps that live here than they do for me. They've been helping them. Not once have they approached me. They've used their units. Possibly paid them. I know that someone has been giving them money. The monsters who surround me have contact by phone with them. They've worked around me and totally ignored me. It's like I don't exist to them. They are ghosts protecting me, another ghost.
THE SYSTEM IS BOTH BRILLIANT AND BRUTAL. I FUCKEN HATE IT.
The trauma, abnormal fear and suffering from living in this location has been great and with me most days.
I have fashioned a weapon. I can never own a firearm in my lifetime so I made myself a weapon. Handheld. It's similar to a Japanese bojutsu. I don't give one FUCK what anyone thinks of me doing this. I've had enough. I've been through enough. <<My Entries>> section on my diary's (this diary) menu tab is scary. It feels scary ; tampered with. Like someone is hellbent on not letting me speak up. Fuck I hate this.
I am online and have been since July/August 2014 at an exorbitantly high price. It has cost me everything to speak. EVERYTHING. However, I'm still here. Nobody plays God with me. Extremely controlling. I'm still here online because of one reason : God will never let mere mortals fuck with my right to freedom : the ONLY ONE who fucks with my right to freedom is myself. And these days, this is not an option.
Never. Play at God all you fucken want, it's not working. I'm still here. And still angry at you all. Why are you doing this to me? Making life hell for me? Why? IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS ME, AND HEARING IT FROM ME? GET THE FUCK OUT OF TOWN AND OUT OF MY COUNTRY. YOU HAVE FAILED ME TERRIBLY. I have gratitude. Yes, it's survived your appalling actions over the years. It's time for me to strengthen my healing because without it I'm just as fucked as you all are. Get your Special Branch sorted. I literally can FEEL the spiritual bullshit along with the good spiritual stuff strongly AND I KNOW the exact directions around me that they are coming from. You understand now? I feel and see other things too pertaining to the work and have done since 2014. I don't lie about who I am, and if you can't handle that, tough shit to you.