ChillMonsoon

16/02

I'm going home, taking the tram, idk what to do, im going home early which is nice... I guess, I feel super fucking tired, I'm kind of happy I guess, I got eh- decent-ish grades on my math test, also got a like 70% in physics which is great, because I'm really bad it, so it helps getting good grades every now and then
I'm so so so tired tho, I feel like fuckin dying... Idk what to do... When I come home early (like today) I usually stream... Risk of rain 2... Or Minecraft, but today, today I dont feel like streaming, I feel so incredibly fucking tired it's insane.
I don't know what to do else, im probably just gonna stay in my room and do nothing
I really wish I could talk to someone, like, about everything, there's just no one.
I have like 3 friends left, one of them knows I usually feel like shit but we don't talk about it, I mean, we don't talk a lot, but I guess we're still friends, the other ones dont know ...
One of them I talk to, decently often... Like once every 2 weeks or so.
But he's starting to feel really distanced, he also got a girlfriend n shit, yea idk, feels bad
The other one, well we don't talk much online, but he's the one I see the most irl, he's a cool guy, he has ADHD n he's really impulsive, he does a lot of stuff, but he's a nice guy
Haven't seen him in a while tho,
Idk what to do, maybe I should cut them off... I wonder...
Idk man, they don't feel like fake friends, or at least the last one, the 2 others are really Starting to feel distanced and idk how I feel about it...
I just want it to end all, I just want it to stop, everything, the thoughts especially.
I'm so so tired
I think I'm almost home so I'm gonna go to sleep, n then study
Talked a bit to the girl I like today, but idk, we had like a 10 word exchange, basically she seems not interested in me at all..., Idrc tho it's better, if I made her fall in love with me I'd feel horrible cuz I'd have to reject her.
I can't love someone else when I can't even love myself, I still don't know if im in love with her, I just want to be with her...
Anyhow cya gtg sleep