The lonely codependent

This is a real challenge

Am I drinking again? Yes
Am I tipsy? Yes.
Do I mind it? No.
Do I wish I didn't look like this? Yes.

As people would say in my native language, "it would be beautiful to see someone win from this position", meaning this is a real challenge.

It's hard to believe that I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself simply to convince people I haven't spoken to for years that they are wrong. But this is exactly what I admitted not long ago.

So, could this mean progress? Could this mean a new hope? I mean knowing that I've been chasing the wrong goal all along.