Having a miraculously relaxing day today walking, shopping and sitting down for a rest in between tasks. (I don't always refer to life responsibilities as tasks, but today they definitely are : miniature mountains to scale with care.)
Alright. I'm changing painfully slowly. Yes I told a few people today as I'm out-&-about, that's it's bloody rude to stare - it's HOW they stare at me. Thousands of times I've experienced these types of stares for the past few years. It's all part of the multi-layered response to fame. I won't ever accept fame, however, I'm learning to accept and do something about the toxic, the innocent and not-so-innocent curiosity of people locally. The cruel intimidating behaviour of drivers. The arrogant, supercilious harm from others has completely broken me. (Not that they give one fuck over it either. Entitlement covers just about ANY ill behaviour.) I'm working hard every day to mend and heal. Life is much much MUCH better this way.
One day, I'll stop talking about the problem, waive the fucker completely and articulate cf an immersion in the solution.
Whoever started this bullshit campaign to lynch me did a fucken thorough job of it by involving the entire local community. Of course, not everyone responded to the campaign. Only monsters put their hand up to this evil work. Yes, I've heard gunshots in recent months : not much more than a dozen.
Today I sat in a church cemetery and wept. I chose it because it's always quiet and semi-secluded. Wept and prayed to my God, some long-awaited gratitude over something, until cars turned up in the nearby church carpark.
(I had a long way to walk on legs that are giving me strong constant pain with almost every step I take, so I made this spiritual detour in an effort to make my public walk more endurable.) 09:25 a.m.
<<Update>> 11:44 a.m. It worked....
Well, I've had a good rest sitting down in the supermarket at the shopping park, and now it's time to get some food stores then walk home to my little princess cat...
Thoroughly enjoying Netflix, Youtube and my more "private", alternative journalling solutions.
They're still entering by their own means my home. Been going on for a long, long time. I'm on my fifth lock change. Why fucken bother? Never works. The police know. What can they do?
Understand this : I don't know privacy in great amounts.
And understand this even more : I WOULD DO IT AGAIN IN A HEARTBEAT. This last statement is mostly for the benefit of my local community.