Amber's ramblings
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2023-02-08 22:16:05 (UTC)

Last one today

Well it's the end of another long day. I don't think I'll sleep much tonight. Even though I'm tired. Tomorrow night should be better. One of my other neighbours is giving me a couple of sleeping pills. He says they work wonders. We'll see. The ones I take don't seem to be working too well.

I'm going to go and get some parental advice from the neighbour I saw today. Which is weird to me because I never had that kind of relationship with my mum. I never felt like I could go to her or my dad with anything. I've always had to hide things from them. We never said I love yous or any kind of affection. We just don't show emotion in my family. So it seems weird to me that some parents actually love their kids. Anyway when she was hugging me earlier I actually felt like she cared. Like a mother does. And it feels weird. But I need to tell her the story. And see what advice she'd give as a mother. I don't think she will tell me what I want to hear. I think she'll be honest and I will listen to her even if I don't want to hear it.

Moving on I made a sad playlist on Spotify. I was feeling pretty emotional this morning so put my feelings into songs. Probably not the best idea but it helped.

Anyway signing off