Unknown

My short pointless life
2023-02-05 22:10:20 (UTC)

Raining Blood.

Gonna be my ringtone. Yep the starting riff is epic.

Today was my friends birthday. totally forgot. and the best part is i don't feel bad or anything. his wife messages me indirectly trying to give me clues telling me about it calling it his special day and all and i don't respond according and i just give it a simple meehhhh answer.

then later on in the evening it strikes me its his birthday. and that was afternoon...lol

disconnected yes, constantly not in flow with the humans around me. ever feel like that? cant seem to relate to anything around you. not the shit your family or friends do. and i have my reasons too. they never acknowledged anything important to me always mocking it so over time i just said fuck you all and shut myself off from them.

quid pro quo should be the motto of life. don't fucking go and be nice to everyone hoping that they show you the same in return. i used to do that. then i learnt that's not the way to live. for all you christian sheep the bible tells you to love and forgive all. fucking ludicrous that is. anyone with enough common sense will know that's bullshit. that's how you get hurt. that's how you always be in pain and then go to church and pray. the cycle. like the doctor not making you completely alright, always keeping you a little sick so that you come back for more. church needs its donations every Sunday right. so keep them coming.

if anyone pays attention to me then yes i give them appropriate affection and time. blood relations are only words. family is not only blood. in fact my blood family are light years apart from me. and the few online ones are closer than home. that's another ironic thing too.

give em hell
end




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