The lonely codependent

20 days to go: Work work work, work work work

I've been trying so hard these days to look like an 'average working woman', when it comes to the family business at least. This time I suceeded as I had some tasks today, some of which I felt like doing and some of which I did not feel like doing.

Some people have asked our company for references, which is totally understandable, but at the same time that made me a bit upset because it reminded me of how things always are: people usually do not suppose that you are the best or you are good enough at last, so you need to prove that. Which I always try and fail to do most of the time.

Right now I really feel kinda like an average person. It's boring to a certain extent but somehow my inner peace is a bit bigger nowadays, especially compared to what it should be like if we look at the calendar. I thought to myself this year can go to the bin as well, I'll say a year is finally not wasted when I don't have to start it alone and try to hide from this damned holiday.

I feel a bit tired and partly in a good way, so that's all for today. I still haven't figured out whether I should do anything special in the next 20 days.