Evolving marriage
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2023-01-29 22:49:21 (UTC)

Nice time together

Dear Diary,
(Im thinking this might be a R rated entry for sexual explicit material)

Things are going well. We have plans to go to a gals for dinner, she is an RVer from out of state I met, have spent some time together and gone hiking, and she met my spouse and invited us to dinner tonight. So leave in several hours.

We have already been out wine tasting, to numerous lunches, Ive been hiking, and beach walks and lunches talking with various women or groups of women. Its been a great time. We have an actual social life here! And we had a romantic dinner out and got to look thru huge telescopes at the Moon, Jupiter and Mars the other night as they were set up in town for a presentation.

We had a foot massage this am together and both of us fell asleep during it.

Had some lunch, and now just hanging out till dinner.

Have had some sexy time of course. I have a few good friends, all guys from the site I was on, to chat with about marriage, sex and various topics, and then lots of others are on there, I call it my time playing "therapist" and enjoy talking to the guys about their marriages, their wives sexually and helping them to help their wives. And I read some to my husband he pitches in feedback also that I share for the couples. And then he and I talk about it too, together. Its been good.

Some guy gave me his erotic writer name and I was just reading a few of his stories, Ive read some from others before but they felt kind of ick to me and I kinda back off on that, but I read a few, and I liked them so far, as part of his writing was about him developing an email relationship with an ex gf and they were writing erotic stuff to one another and sharing pics, his wife found it and what he had been doing and now all the changes in their marriage as a result and the healing between them, its kinda cool to read.

Anyways, I just realize how so many women as so pent up, so repressed, I know 3 women in person now who didnt have their first orgasm until their late 40s! I mean how sad is that, married women with kids.

And I realize how far we have come. How far I have come. I couldnt talk openly to my husband about sex, my desires, the things I wanted to feel and experience, Now I can and do it. Now I can start masturbating in bed while he grabs the laundry downstairs and come back to find me like this and give him a giggle and him saying "Oh you are a dirty girl" and I say back "Oh Laundry boy, I have to find a way to repay you" and just have fun with it.

We discussed this last night, about sex, and how its become more about having fun. We are truly enjoying one another, the seriousness aspect and performance anxiety and the fears, all feel like they have slipped away, the old way we operated in the bedroom. And now its just relaxed and free flowing.

I will add, I think between the open talking and the fun we have had and more sex and being on hormones has helped.

But then having edibles several times, really let me feel fully sensual in a way where I have been so free and uninhibited. Alcohol doesnt even hit me this way and to be honest, I dont care for alcohol much anymore and its effects or how it makes me feel.

But damn, a sativa gummi? Wow, I love how I feel. I can just walk right up to him and we can slow dance together and I can just move my body against his and feel every bit of the swaying and the arousal state building in my body. All I want to do is move and slow dance up against him. And the kissing, the sensual kissing is wonderful. I can put on a pair or knee socks, a tiny skirt and tight tank top and come parading out and walk right over to him on the couch, and climb onto his lap with no panties on and ride him and have my breasts in his face as he sucks my nipples giving me such pleasurable ecstacy and I havent even orgasmed yet. Its so fun and we just enjoy it, the dim lights, the music, our furniture and soft blankets, just him and I. Our sexy talk, our laughter, feeling in touch with every aspect of my body and saying whatever is on my mind and not holding back. And we are both okay with it and it flows so well.

Granted dont always need the edibles, but I can see how those times helped me to soften up more, be more open then I was, give me that space to feel that way totally and let go, it gave me that practice to be able to do it when Im not taking an edible.

But I have to say, we have laughed so much together, I laugh so much more now. We watched this wierd porn vid, it was a cam girl, in a bikini and a guy dressed as a dinosaur in costume with a fake dildo on and they are on hoverboards and in a living room hes chasing her, she giggles, laughes, he pins her down and fucks her with it, but she just giggles, jumps up and the chase continues for like an hour, its so silly and almost wholesome, the guy never takes his own dick out, its just this couple being silly having fun and its hilarious and kinda strangely cute. And we forget to just have fun with one another and our bodies and truly just enjoy sex and playing together. I think play is just as important for adults.

Im feeling so horny just typing this right now and want to go attack him again or go get the magic wand (hes upstairs on the phone) and I have to get ready within an hour.

We had sex this am, I masturbated in bed proudly as he slept last night and didnt wake, right next to him grabbing his ass.

He has this penis sleeve and damn, I call it the "The Screamer" because however that thing hits inside me, it hits my fornix? As husband says. It gives me such a strong orgasm, like I feel it building intensly, makes me think of pumping up a bicycle tire with a hand pump, that pressure building sense. And then I just explode, but its SO HARD, I am on my back on the edge of the bed, my legs wide apart and my feet kinda frog legged to brace on him and once it hits, that deep orgasm, I practically can push him over. My body jerks so hard and I scream. Its happened several times, its so intense I am DONE when it happens, this is the orgasm where you can just turn me over and Im done and will pass out. Im totally drained and exhausted.

I hang in there my legs like a rag doll for husband to finish, he has to take the sleeve off as it is too hard to take still, and then he gets to feel me warm and stretched inside with his own cock and loves telling me how that feels and how hot it was to watch me taking such a big cock, that hes controlling.

We do talk a lot, Im very verbally with my moans and sounds, I dont like to be quiet, and we are more loud here of course at this place because of the privacy and distance from others.

I just love our fun times, I love him entering me, and fingering me, and touching my nipples, and then after hes got me good and warmed up, using himself, moving onto something larger, putting a sleeve on or getting a toy, and just feeling it enter me, and then gradually I relax into it and open wider to take it deeper, its an amazing sensation and very enjoyable together.

God I just want more!