Bruce

BDW's recovery from Parental Abuse
2023-01-27 09:53:50 (UTC)

Stop Spinning

Since the last incident with my parents in November - December 2022, I started ACA. I went no contact with them at this time. That incident retriggered some emotions in me. However, after starting working through the program and journaling a great deal, I have come to a realization.

I healed of the childhood trauma they put me through a long time ago, using in person therapy and work groups. The ACA focus on "healing your inner child", reparenting, etc., really no longer applies to me. My inner child grew up a long time ago. I, with my wife, became a sane, sober and good parent....and now grandparent.

My issues emotionally and mentally today, are about the continued destructive and chaos inciting behavior of my parents, who are 77 & 76 years old. Their abuse of alcohol, prescription drugs, constant arguing/marital conflicts, financial irresponsibility, and their actions towards me are frankly insane. My mother decided to stop taking her diabetes medications and following protocols over a year ago, and is now disabled. As I told my wife, if they were not related to me, they are not the type of people I would be friends with.

My mother forged my dad's signature and refinanced their house. She ran up near $300,000 in debt on Plexus Multimarketing, trying to start a life coaching business and who knows what else and has hidden it from him. I asked my wife if she knew how I knew when my mother was lying? It is when her lips are moving. I saw her hide stuff from him all my life. He is either too drunk to care or he is completely oblivious.

I raised two great kids, who never knew abuse or were traumatized. They were allowed to grow up and find their own way, with my wife and I supporting them, like parents should. I do not need to heal my inner child, he no longer exists. I do not need to learn how to be a good parent, I did that already. My son is a doctor, who has dealt with a lot of older people. He told me that their behavior (now and generational), are all too commonly seen in the boomer generation. There is practically no chance of them changing or wanting to change.

I simply need to just bury my conscience and feeling that I should be drawn into their abyss of bad life decisions. I need to just consider them as dead, mourn, and then move on with life. As a cancer survivor approach 60 years of age, stress is something I do not need.

Sorry for venting.




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