Halcón

Agony, coping mechanisms, my person

So I've been trying to pull myself together. I have the nastiest coping mechanisms. This is the most depressing month in my life. And I've been trying to distract myself watching animated movies. Sometimes I feel like it's working. Sometimes it doesn’t. However, I am not doing very good. I just entered this month's PMS week. I'm not supposed to do good anyway.

I'm gonna fall apart this time. Hard. I can feel it in my bones. This is going to be the longest 7 days of my life. And I'm not prepared. I wish I had someone to kiss me on forehead, I don’t.

I wish I was in love with a fucking normal ass person. A person to call my own. A person to hug when everything feels harsh. A person to talk about mundane stuff. A person to talk to for hours and hours about everything and nothing. A person. My person. Well, I don’t have anyone. More like I don’t accept anyone else. I can't love anyone else. Nothing worse than being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back.

Two words. Maybe never. These have been echoing in my head ever since 9th. I can never recover from this trauma. No amount of animated movies can make me forget this agony.