༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻

Sacred Divinity

Good day
Happy Wednesday

I have yet to get my sleep diary up to date
Ended up chatting with a friend from here last night

I must say
It’s been hella nice

So far I’ve been not afraid to speak about much
I don’t find that often
I normally stay reserved and quiet

Last time I did this tho with the itch online from TikTok
It backfired
She ended up twisting things said to others
And I woke one morning to a ton of hate messages all over FB, TT, SC….
I mean it was ugly the things she said
I was a pedo, and so on….
Oh yeah….
She’s the itch that I addressed one of my entries to
She has caused more drama with others
Wasn’t just me
I have them all still blocked
And screen my requests that come in

Anyway
Going to be a long day
The usual Wednesday appointments
Only difference
I’m not driving today
My girlfriend is picking me up and taking me to lunch first
No….
She’s older and not interested that way
She’s a certified doctor in acupressure, chakra , etc
That’s how we met
She’s also a recovering addict
In recovery over 40 years
So, I didn’t say no to the company
She is trust worthy
Known and seen her weekly for almost 2 years

Having my coffee
Waiting on the bus

Tired as all hell
Went to sleep around 1:30am
Woke at 530am
Been going since 6am
Still gotta shower and all that mess
But the kid gets off first
So I’m not standing outside with a wet head

Aight
Kid at school
Time to shower and get my ass in gear

synced lovin, intwined in the darkness where no one can see
I'm dually noted and found innocent
devious need peaks then speaks of fire

baby, you're fire

I desire your honey on my peach
taste divinity and get high on my need
passion so sweet it hurts
you'll come back for more
when you're weary of the throng

your entourage follows closely
they press in on me asking I feed
I ache in the loneliness
with purification rituals
to make sure I'm the loyalty you need

dip into my hollow spaces with your thickness
and penetrate my honesty

oh baby, that's what I mean

go a little deeper now
my poetry halls are perfectly scribed
no one else has been this far

come unto me with your viciousness and visions
I've withheld from you too long
and I think you want to hurt me

bring the pain and delve into my solemness
I hold the key you seek
divine the truth,
fact from fiction

inside my sacred swollenness,
tender to the touch

it's been far too long …..

Anyway
Shower done
I’m ready to roll out
Had my morning usual adult time
It’s almost an every morning thing
No different than a man
In the urge department

Sad
As nice as I am
As beautiful as I am
I seem to not have the ability to find or be blessed with that one soul to complete me

Instead
I have multiple souls connected in my life to just bandaid

It’s ok tho

I admitted last night
I’m mentally in that spot where I realize
I’m halfway or more through life
I’ve mastered a ton
Jobs
Hobbies
Etc
And really have no outlook for life after the kid moves on
I have three years roughly
My kids were raised right in the aspect of living life away on their own
Unlike the narcissist and that family
I will be in an empty nest
I don’t see myself living with anyone
Nor being in a solid relationship

So in my eyes
I will have completed life
There will be nothing left
Just how I see it currently

I pray things change
And I can enjoy the last bit not alone
But I’m ok being alone
The longer I’m alone
The more comfortable I will be
And probably will never change that or step out of my comfort zone

It was asked by my friend
The same as my doctors
What the attraction or connection is with the narcissist
I still
Can not answer that
It’s not physically
It’s not mentally
It’s certainly not sexually

I do wish the narcissist would change more for the better
But hell will freeze over before that happens

I have plenty of prospects
But none are in me to give a try with

So
I will continue to be the queen within my own castle

Have a wonderful day y’all
Photo of the day is me in my late 20s
That pure, sensual, fun, open minded, young beautiful woman who was ready for anything and not aware of the heartbreak I would experience

⚘ Love 🌹Alice🌹
© Disclaimer: I reserve all rights to the displayed products and give no permission for its transmittal or copy. ⚘

****CJ*****
bailing out without a word was just wrong…..
But thanks for the respect…..
Such a friendship was just words to say……
Never was a real thing within your mind I guess…..