⚡ Silent Thunder ⚡

⛈️ The Storms Within ⛈️
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2023-01-24 23:12:52 (UTC)

Feeling Better

Today feels somewhat productive...
I woke up in a surprisingly good mood. I got up, did some laundry, swept and mopped my room, and made a Walmart order for dog food.

Also I enrolled Corey in GED classes...sigh
He is mad that the community college only offers classes one day a week. He is in a hurry, and wants to get it done ASAP...So I told him he could take both. The ones he started before online, and the one at the college...If he finishes the one online first, then he can drop the one at the college. This way he feels like he has options, and..it will keep him busy.

I guess once he is ready for college...I'm assuming sometime this coming fall he has plans to move into a house with his two other friends from highschool... I don't know how I will be when he moves out. I feel lost just thinking about it. But I know he needs to go...and I don't mean to sound like a horrible mother, but I need him to leave the nest.

I spend so much of my time worrying about him, making sure all his needs are filled. Making sure he is happy.. that I forget about myself. I need to focus on my own happiness.. And my passions.

Corey made a comment last night that he wants to buy me a switch so that when he goes off to college we can still have our Mario Monday. We have been playing Mario Party 8 every Monday night for the past few years...It's kind of awesome that he wants to continue with that tradition. Though I am pretty sure that once he gets in with his friends, and his studies, and girls..lol he won't have the time he thinks. It's okay.. With any luck I will be busy too. Though I am not sure what I will be doing..

I need to work on goals...
Lately, my only goal has been to get through the day. Complete my shifts at work. Not much more than that.

But I need more..
I need meaning for my life that's more than just earning a paycheck at a job I hate to put food on the table.

I will be meditating on this and writing more later..for some reason my mind just went blank..sigh..

The above picture is of a butterfly that I found on the sidewalk a few days ago. He didn't seem to be hurt or anything but when I put my hand down he just crawled right up on me as if he was expecting a ride..lol

I know that butterflies are little messengers from those that have passed.. Not sure who this would be..but he brought with him a sense of calm.. This morning he was still hanging around my porch and landed on me again.

We are getting another cold front tonight so I brought all my plants in and him as well. I saw him flying around earlier, I'm assuming that he will spend the night in one of the plants. When the weather is better I will let him go..I just hope the cats don't find him.


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