Tru's diary
2023-01-24 12:32:49 (UTC)

Social services- for mom

Got a call from my aunt, my mom sister, that social services wants to talk to me about my mom. Really? Like they didn't want to talk to me when she was alive so why now? My mom passed away now, my aunt picked up her ashes already, so why now?
My mom was sick, not just physically but mentally. I saw signs of dementia but nobody wanted to diagnose her. Her doctors, social services, they all said she was capable of making her own decisions.
There was a girl that lived in same trailer park as my mom. She and her boyfriend did drugs and dealt drugs in the trailer park and at my mom's.
Before my mom got sick, she always had to have control, always wanted everyone to do everything for her. She did have a caregiver before this girl and she was just as bad. She wouldn't come for days or even a couple weeks but yet always got paid for it. My mom would sign the paperwork so Lisa would get paid. They didn't take care of her. I got a call that they found my mom laying on the floor next to her bed, lying in dog feces. She had a stroke. I went to California to see my mom and when I got there, it was disgusting. Dog crap everywhere and the place was literally caked with dust. My mom had allergies and asthma. Dust not good. My mom stayed in bed and wanted to be waited on hand and foot so she didn't know what it looked like in her house.
I had to get her house ready for when she came home, cleaned like crazy. Of course my mom didn't want to hear how Lisa was stealing from her just like she denied her husband was molesting her daughters. She didn't want me to do anything. I ended up going back home.
Now she called me one time and told me she fired Lisa and this other girl took over. She was just as bad but my mom didn't care. My mom loved how she just let mom do whatever. My mom sat in urine, her floor was wet with urine, her bed was wet. This girl didn't do anything. My mom wouldn't do her therapy, she wouldn't get out of bed, she wouldn't brush her hair, or take a shower. She would tell people I locked her in her room. Are you kidding me, she would never come out of her room. Her door was always open but I locked her in her room. That hurt to hear that.
I've done everything for that woman, always tried to protect her before and after she had her stroke. I also found out alot of things she did to me behind my back. It makes me so angry because despite her choosing her husband over her daughters, I still did everything I could and what my mother wanted before she had her stroke. All those years just to find out she talked shit.
I went to my moms to take care of her in 2018, I fed her, cleaned her house and in order to avoid eviction, I had to clean the mess that was outside. It was disgusting. I had to have my nephew put a fence and a ramp in for my mom but yet I was a terrible daughter.
The whole time she was sick and going downhill, I tried to make sure she was fed, had clean sheets and clothes. I spoke to home health care about the other girl. Let them know what the condition was when I got there. I let them know about her memory going. I let them know about the drugs that were being brought into my mom's house. Nobody wanted to listen. She didn't even have to go to doctors, the doctor just said she was competent. It was so frustrating. This girl stole from my mom. She gave my mom 1 meal a day. She would dump my mom's commode and leave poop on the toilet, not just in it. When I got there, her commode was so brown stained. My mom said oh she is great. Eventually my mom didn't want me to take care of her, she wanted the druggie who brings in drug dealers and leaves her house looking like a dump to stay.
Social services didn't want to hear nothing. After my mom told me to leave, she got evicted because everything I did to keep her there was destroyed. Her place literally looked like a dump after I left. Her place was raided by cops because the girl was hiding a fugitive in my mother's bathroom. NOBODY wanted to listen or help me.
Some other girl took over and moved my mother to her house, in her garage. She left my mom with bed sores cuz she never changed my mom's bed. She took my mom's animals. She took my mother's money. She didn't feed my mother.
I called and told her I wanted to talk to my mom. My mom told me she was fine and never needs my help. Then later I found out my mom called cops because she was hungry and in pain. Where did my mom end up? A nursing home, the same place she accused me of trying to put her there. She told nurses not to call me or tell me anything. Seriously? I even had my mom's neighbor back up everything I told them because she saw it too. NOBODY listened. The girl who had her in the garage got off Scott free, I mean they didn't even charge her for taking my mom's money.
I'm crying now because I protected my mom from whatever and whoever tried to hurt her and because I was actually doing what doctors wanted her to do, changed her bedding even though she protested by saying it was sweat. Tried getting her to change out of her wet clothes, fed her 3 meals a day. Oh and my mom was a drinker, her damn vodka. Tried getting her to get out of bed, but she wouldn't, not even for the therapist that would come to her house but she didn't love me enough. She chose someone who wasn't even her family.
When she passed, I'm, of course the one they called to take care of arrangements. I didn't want to deal with it. Sounds harsh but it's how I felt. I live 2 days away but I took care of paperwork over phone and email. I made arrangements for my aunt to pick her ashes up since she was a few hours away. That was it. Now I get a call from my aunt that social services wants to talk to me. Why? I don't get it, they sure didn't give a damn when she was alive. I told my aunt that I want nothing else to do with it.
I'm trying to heal, why is this still happening? It's like I'm getting haunted by her unloving, uncaring spirit. She doesn't want me in peace.
I give up, I will never get a break....