Notes of Consciousness

Compressed Emotion Repressed Cognition
2023-01-24 05:02:38 (UTC)

There’s not a guarantee that ..

There’s not a guarantee that outside equates to inside

And the opposite

The inside doesn’t equate to the outside

So what makes a person think they’re a person

Better yet

What is a person away from other people

It’s always deduced back to the question of purpose

What is the purpose of a person

What is the reason for a lifetime

What is the why

Dna and its manifestation describe many aspects of human behavior


Subatomic particles describe manifestations of nuclear behavior

What’s beyond the beyond

What’s outside of envy and jealousy
What’s outside of pride
I can’t accept myself
Self-acceptance is a myth in my reality

This diary is to compensate for what my phenotype severely lacks
It’s to compensate for my lack of knowledge
But why

I just want to learn and evolve
But is that the reason I’m here
Is that the reason for this diary
I’ll never know
The design is designed to specifically produce behavior thought and emotion

Random people are random in the world of randomness

But something makes them known to thought and feelings that make them not so random

Why the need to come clean
What would that do
The social climate hasn’t seemed to change in millions of years
What does it matter that one uses spirit that creates detrimental emissions for the air that’s already toxic to begin with

Why do I need to feel like I mean something in a social world that doesn’t see me as meaning anything

I’m meaningless but I can’t accept that
The social reactions create its own version of what I am
I can’t accept it

So what do I accept

I accept the idea of life having magical powers

That’s the only thing I’ll ever accept

But that could be another version of my compensation

Is there a human in the world that doesn’t have to compensate for anything

Is there a human in the world that doesn’t lack anything

Maybe infants

Infants are the stem cells of magical power that life can withhold