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I haven't written in a few days. Since I started this diary, I haven't been sleeping. Waking up, thinking about what angers me. For years I have kept everything in a filing cabinet in my head. It has been overfilling for a long time. Since my mom passed away last year, years and years of feelings came to the surface. Why did my mom stay with a man that molested her daughters? Why doesn't my dad give a damn? Why did my ex husband keep me at home and cheat on me all those years. Why did he have to marry that menodite and turn my kids against me all because she wanted kids and he didn't want anymore?
Why did my mom tell me to leave so that drug addict can stay? Why do people have to judge me without even knowing me?
So many questions. I know I'm not perfect. I make mistakes but why can't others see that part of me that's human?
I've lost my bubbly I used to be. I've lost my smile. I've lost me.
I hope this helps me get me back......