Love, life and loss
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2023-01-22 10:07:06 (UTC)


One night out drinking
One night in hospital
How did my life get this way? I used to be able to drink several nights running and survive on little to no sleep and still be standing

Yet one night out, too much alcohol, 3 hours sleep on top of a cold and sinusitis and landed in hospital
My poor little heart just cant cope with it

I'm so torn as to what direction my life is taking. Yesterday I felt strong and I was going to fight this, accept the treatment i needed and rock life! But today? Well. If I cant enjoy a night out or have fun with friends without time in hospital then what is there really to live for? Maybe I bow out now

I've got a few meals out booked, a couple of nights out booked and a weekly counselling session booked at every Tuesday evening. That means no sleep that night. I'm not sure I can deal with all of it and feel like cancelling it all

I can't bear the counselling anyway
I want it all to go away now

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