The lonely codependent

I applied for a weird American job

Yesterday I saw a very unusual American job advertisement on the Internet. Me and my friend - by the way, life with friends is so much better, I just can't believe it - did not believe that someone can really make a living from this so we kinda laughed at it instead of seeing it as something very serious.

Do you know what? I'll apply! - I told her. And so I did. My motivation letter was quite good in the end in my opinion, but I'm not nervout at all because even if I can only tell people that I was a candidate for such a weird project I'm happy. But of course I'll be happy if they choose me as well. Unfortunately this would not mean that I need to move to the US.

What is funny about this story after all? That the whole process was very easy and effortless for me. I was basically not myself. If I had been, I wouldn't even have been able to write my motivation letter due to my fear of rejection and not living up to someone else's expectations. That's how it always is when I need to apply for jobs that I should be more likely to get. Last time I asked my therapist whether Murphy's law (what can go wrong will go wrong) worked for me because I created those situations for myself this way or life is really against me reaching my goals. I think the answer is still unclear.

But now we wait... Patently, probably for the very first time in my life!