Notes from my Black
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The brown of it
I love a good double entendres…
I don’t know much about Brene Brown. She’s known for a Ted Talk that I didn’t watch. She put on a Netflix show of her talking to an audience. We watched and I didn’t hate it, which is a lot more telling than you’d expect. I don’t care for psychology or sociology very much. It’s been weaponized against me and I am always on the lookout for the “shrinking”.
In this one she talks about being vulnerable, among other things but this is a central theme. Strength in vulnerability. So, in keeping with her teachings, I look at her square in the eyes and say “I can understand why you really like her”. I thought, this is me being vulnerable and more accepting of this than I am on a daily, monthly or yearly basis. I was engaging in it and telling Her it was ok. Her response was “I don’t really like her. She’s got a lot of appeal to those who want a more casual approach”. Hmmm… maybe She didn’t mean it this way, but she just weaponized my openness and shamed me for being pedestrian or less scholarly, I think. I mean I did listen. Brene Brown actually talks about this exact thing.
Ain’t that the shit. I’m trying to engage in something She likes, she put on to watch, and I’m shown criticism.
I’m not butt hurt about it or anything. I’m just keeping a check on life. It’s good to learn and know even when it doesn’t feel as good to learn. 💩
Tonight I talked to my son about his anger and kindness. I told him that in those moments where you feel angry is exactly when you should be aware that if you act out anger at someone you miss the opportunity to grow your kindness. So when he’s angry at night, he’s a lot like the grinch (cause he loves all 47 versions of that movie-except Jim Carey’s). His heart grew right when he was deeply troubled by Christmas, and he made the choice to open up and his heart grew. Maybe he understood. He seemed to listen.
Anyway… otherwise… I’ve been trying to be a better human.