Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
2023-01-14 13:12:24 (UTC)

Redirecting the energy

Slept super good last night, thanks to superman I mean Mike. This morning the ball of fire is still burning, I'm ignoring it and keeping busy cleaning, gonna put this energy to some good use

I might even go to the gym today who knows, no, I will probably get out of it. But I think some exercise, instead of sexexercise might help the flame burn down some

Then I think do I want to squash the flame I mean isn't this what makes me who I am? This is me, always has been. I just coped with it with drugs or alcohol.

Maybe I am too much, maybe even for my own self. I mean this is a lot to deal with

You try walking around feeling like you are on the verge of orgasm every second of the day, the feeling itself is pleasant but it's a lot of stress, tension down there

Why I think the vibrating underwear might be a good idea. Easy to explain the flush face now. Haha I'm old it's a hot flash

I will deal with this for about 30 more days on my own I know I fucked up my mind and it will take a year to get the serotonin and dopamine straight, I am just helping my brain along right?

I just don't want to rush to a pill just yet to help. I still have my music, prayer and meditation

However, the meditation is getting harder when there is a fire screaming out for me to just relieve with a touch

Deep breath in deep breath out

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