just someone random

stupid thoughts and life
2023-01-11 15:26:44 (UTC)

im scared

I am a Junior National Honor Society member. Or should I say "was"?
Honestly at this moment I'm not sure if I was kicked out, or if she meant that I hadn't qualified to be inducted into the Official National Honor Society.
Anyway I went and told my dad I was kicked out, and he got mad. He said he was disappointed in me, that I'd broken my promise to maintain perfect grades, and the moment we arrived at our house he told me in a quiet voice to get out of the car. He really was mad at me and right now he went to buy something at the store and I'm scared because when he comes back I know he's going to yell at me and who knows what else
I cried in absolute silence all the way home and I cried when I got home and now im just sitting here, a mess, waiting for him to come back.

I am terrified
i am so scared
im am so so very scared that i'm trembling

i know he wont hit me anymore and those days are long over but whenever he gets mad at me i still have that feeling that hes going to hit me or throw something at me and he's not like that anymore dammit im terrified


fuck he's home

edit: i told him that i may still be in NHS and he was surprisingly calm about it but if i actually got kicked out i am done for




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