Life of secrets
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2023-01-06 13:43:25 (UTC)


Haven’t updated in a while…. Have had this flu bug and not much has been going on. I’ve been concentrating on getting Frank the hamster to like me. We are getting there slowly…. And have viewed a couple houses. Put in an offer for one today. Neither of us are massively enthused about the house itself but it’s in a good area, it’s extremely cheap compared to the other houses around there- so a good investment, closer to family, and actually wasn’t a bad size. So we’ll see.

A couple have invited us over for dinner tonight. I feel I’ve got some kind of trauma associated with them because at the time we met them, I was happy to have another couple who didn’t have kids… and then very shortly after they announced they were expecting and it was a shock. Plus I was really struggling with not getting pregnant myself at that time, it just pushed me to the edge. There’s another couple I associate trauma with too- same scenario and it’s so awkward because the guy is my husbands best friend. Sometimes I just want to move far away enough to never see these people again.

I’ve been told it’s good for me to be around pregnant women. Something to do with the higher vibration etc. Its supposed to attract that type of energy. I personally don’t feel good being around them. She’s going to be heavily pregnant now too and I’m going to have to make small talk etc. I just don’t want to. I’m not going to be asking her about her baby or feeling her stomach. No.

Part of me kind of gives up though. It’s like I’m just having to accept my situation. I’m due on in 3 days and I’m getting negative tests again. Another month of nothing!

The psychics are giving me new dates again now. Haha! The goal post keeps getting moved further and further. Now they say April. Some say June. One woman told me May next year!!! If it takes another year then I would have royally given up. There’s no point on going on like this if it’s not going to happen this year. When will I be having a second child? When I’m 50??? Pah!

Perhaps I should just get lots of animals and be the animal lady with no kids.