Diary writing person

Slowly descending into madness
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2023-01-06 04:13:42 (UTC)

I have a magical pussy

Nafi arranged a day trip this Saturday. I told him I can't make it because my parents said no. Actually me not going is my choice. A classmate of mine confessed to me after we came back from trip that he's been in love with me for over 4 years. Good. Nice. Superb.

Problem is, I never felt anything towards him. Everytime he joked about it, I thought it was a joke. I told him not to joke about these over 4 years gladly, rudely, happily, sadly, angrily in every fucking way possible. I am in no position to have a boyfriend, even if I do, NOT HIM. So confessing after 4 years, my answer is still no. I don’t want to face him, hence I'm backing away from spending time with my other friends. Tragic shit.

Over the 4 years of university life, I think over 6 men and 2 women felt a little to a lot, at least something for me. Yes, girls can feel things for another girl. And yes I can feel it very well. Cause both of them confessed. So, overall there are 8 people who had felt sth for me, THAT IN MY CLASS. I will not even count other departments and senior/junior batches (the number will start looking horrible).

I have started to think I have some sort of magical pussy or maybe I have like a magnet or sth. The statistics is looking so bad even with 1.5 years off because of corona. I'm not proud of this because I never reciprocated. I never led them on (I'm not penguin, I can't be as bad as that asshole to play with someone's feelings for 2 years) I never put any romantic effort for them. For example: Going to Bashundhara right before my sales exam for any of them? Hell fucking no way, that would happen.

Then what the fuck is happening? I don't know. But I don’t exactly like this, that I have to skip tours and trips to avoid meeting people who has/had thing for me.

It’s very annoying.


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