Gone mental

No energy to deal/ kind?

I sent my sister a book I bought her this past summer. It was one I knew she’d like, and it was signed by the author with a note to her specifically. I bought it for her before I knew what a shit she’d been to me for the past 15 years… I sent it anyway. I mean what am I going to do with it?

She called me this morning to thank me. It’s true I was up most of the night with my son and had just awakened at about 11, but I just couldn’t muster the energy to really even talk to her. Since I wasn’t really into the conversation, she asked if I was depressed. My response was the typical brush off no, but I added that there is always that low key cloud hanging around. She knew exactly what I was talking about. She has far bigger issues than I do in that regard. She is so good at the fake conversational points. I have little to no respect for her right now… and that’s super sad because she was kinda my favorite for a lot of years. I just found out who she was… and I was so let down.

That was my day in a nutshell. Kinda keeping to myself, not dealing with anything important… and just existing through the day. I succeeded at doing the motions I guess.