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Once again he has disappeared. He said he'd be an hour that was almost three hours ago. It really does annoy me when he treats me like this. He'll be back within the hour telling me he's going to bed. I really don't know where I stand with him. He says he loves me but he thinks nothing about ignoring me. I don't want another man. He is and always will be the love of my life. But I can't keep holding onto nothing. He makes all these promises like promising we'll be together. I know it's never going to happen. He says it will but he's not prepared to make the commitment. I need more than the odd hour here and there. If I'm lucky I get a message if I'm really lucky I'll get a two minute phone call. But the phone calls are few and far between. I'm breaking my own heart being with him. I know it's never going to go anywhere. But not being with him is the worst pain imagenable.