Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
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2023-01-03 12:05:52 (UTC)

Plan D

One thing I can say about me is I am flexible. So plan C was to leave by the end of January because I wasn't seeing any work being done to save our marriage, or Mike showing any signs of being able to get over my betrayal, my anxieties were out of control. I felt I was being shut out by not talking. I felt like I was going to go insane

We finally talked. We both are not ready to give up just yet (thank God)

I can give him space, I just needed reassurance I guess, I needed to talk about what was going on inside my head and why. I feel 100% better

I was able to get a good night's rest finally.

At the moment, my recovery is going great, no issues there at all. Well, actually my roomie text me this morning, her and her girlfriend broke up, I remember in rehab she was so worried about losing her girlfriend, she was so afraid she would just give up and start using again. She said she is actually relieved and doing ok, but if you could send any prayers up for her that would be much appreciated. She is a good person, young, 25 whole life ahead of her, she will stay strong, she has a prayer warrior adopted mama on her ass!

My job is going kick ass. My boss started this new thing where at night now I am supposed to send him a text message to remind him of a morning interview. This new rule started once I returned from rehab, apparently he doesn't understand that it is going to take time for my brain to reset/relearn. To be honest, 75% of the time I remember, usually I am sending him a 5am reminder text. I am 55 my brain can't remember shit as it is and now you are adding stuff? So Sunday night I was already asleep then I remembered he had an appointment the next day, so I got up out of bed and sent him a reminder text at 11pm. Then yesterday the interviewee actually showed up and was hired. So I was bragging to everyone about how I remembered and got out of bed to send the text, she showed and was year, new success, I'm about to ask for a raise holla! Turned around and the owner was right there...I just smiled and said I was playing ;)

I also remembered to send his reminder text last night...I am on a roll.

Love life, that seems like that will all fall back in place, now that there is hope!

Mike is having gall stone issues now, MS zingers and something else is going on, his new doctor's appointment is later this month but he needs to be seen right away the neurologist told him yesterday. So he is going back to our doctor that supplied me with all the norco. I asked him if he felt awkward going back there, because he hates him and was so mad and him and yelled at him. He said no he just wants to figure out what is going on. I told him to remember I played the doctor too, he was a victim also, albeit a dumb victim, didn't follow the medical laws, but isn't that what I was looking for? I wish I had the balls to go back to him so I didn't have to find another doctor, but I won't I never would. I still have to find a new doctor ugh. So pray for him too

Pray for this marriage too, pray for us to get past this betrayal and move on to a brighter future

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