Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
2023-01-01 12:20:28 (UTC)


The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

Plan A was for him to magically fall back in love with me at the Christmas

Plan B was for us to figure it out by the new, not even trying

Plan C is to start over fresh, alone. He says 'shutting off',, I say protecting my self

So I have 30 days to do my plan C. The rent is at least paid here (my half) for the month so that buys me some time.

Plan C will not fail, because I can control my own self. I can't make Mike want to work it out with me. I can't be the person he wants me to be, I'm still me so I don't get that. Oh I'm not lying, stealing or doing norco anymore so I guess I'm not the same girl you married, because I was addicted to it before I met you

This year will start off sad, of course, but we will both rise and find our happiness again. We had a good 10 year run, I think, it just ran its course and came to an end.

All of this uncertainty and back and forth isn't good for either one of us, it has me mentally feeling insecure like a teenage which isn't good for my recovery so I'm just removing myself from the situation

Hopefully 2023 is a good year for all