Love, life and loss
2022-12-27 23:54:08 (UTC)

Work and nightmare

Just woken up after a terrifying nightmare
The worst I've ever experienced and left me shaking crying and cant calm down and unsee it or unfeel it
After several nights in hospital
Discharged myself
Back to work tomorrow
Wfh as too poorly to drive and go into office
Not well enough to wfh but got no choice
No ones told me to stay off or rest
Stuff that needs to be done
Stuff that cant wait

Ive not yet managed a day where I've been able to stay awake for more than 2 or 3 hours at a time so dont know how tomorrow will go

I've just woken up from nightmare and cant unsee what i sore
Feel so shaken by it
Different to usual
I have flashbacks of Erin all the time. They upset me and scare me but I settle until it happens again
This was different
Not had a nightmare like it in years
The most terrifying I've ever had
I cant close my eyes again after that
Literally shaking
Why tonight??
Didnt have many in hospital
Didnt have one last night
Yet tonight I've had two but only this second one thats made me feel petrified
The only thing changed is work tomorow
And who can I talk to about it? No one. So I just end up writing here then trying to move on

Started writing this earlier but had a dizzy spell and had another fall after waking up so only just back to this
Went all dizzy and sick then fell
Temperature was 39.3 and oxygen 94
Oxygen back on
Paracetamol for temp
Try and sleep

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