Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
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2022-12-25 15:36:53 (UTC)

Merry Christmas

Holidays are normally always stressful and generally a bad time for me, all the stress of making sure everyone has a good Christmas. With Mike he took care of all that, I know. I was super blessed with that man!

Today I woke up, grateful to be alive, don't get me wrong but just sad, super sad. Even though this is actually my 7th Christmas without my son Chad, it is my first non-numbing Christmas without him if that makes sense.

Today, this morning I felt all of that like it just happened, and then Panther my beloved cat, the unknown state of my marriage, damn I spent 2 hours crying this morning. I just let the tears come. I just showered, got ready for the day and now I'm just doing nothing

Mike made a fabulous prime rib last night and vegetables omg put any restaurant to shame (another blessing) he is warming it up right now for our lunch.

It's only 1045am. The whole day is ahead of me but I don't want to do anything but sit around and feel sad I guess


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