kestrel

kestrel
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2022-12-23 20:44:45 (UTC)

Anti-natalism: My Take

Personal entry follows.
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If anyone else reads this: it's not meant for you to take it personally. Sure, I welcome questions and comments about this, however to be clear this is not meant as a screed against or criticism of those who choose to have kids, or who want to eventually bring more people into the world. Some of my best friends are parents, after all, and one of mine is still alive and I love her greatly.

So, I had a vasectomy at age 32. Had I the presence of mind (and the health insurance, and time in my schedule or whatever), I likely would have preferred to have it done earlier in life. Things such as they are, I was glad I finally went through it and I think of it as the best birthday present I'd ever given myself. As I've grown older, I've had sex less and less, so it's not really a big deal anymore. At that time in my life I'd been (frequently) sexually active and I valued the fact that so long as my partner and I weren't sick with some venereal disease or STD, we could get down as much as we wanted, whenever and wherever we wanted, and not have to worry about the possibility of unwanted pregnancy.

I never wanted to sire a child, and the majority of my partners in life haven't either. There was a situation in 2015-ish where the lady I was seeing and I split up because she wanted to have kids while I didn't, and I think she felt she'd be able to convert me to her way of thinking somehow. Mind you, at this point my vasectomy was long-since over and done, and since then and to this day I am reluctant to have a scalpel that close to my genitals again so reversing the procedure is largely out of the question. I'm too damn old today to sire kids, anyhow. It would be too much work. Not gonna pick on children in this entry. My current ire is reserved for the parents, instead.

My point in bringing this up now is that I'd seen a discussion on kids, abortion, adoption and so on over at the gardening discussion board, and reflected on the variety of responses I'd skimmed. From what I'd seen, I'd feel the justifications for going through with a pregnancy and birth were inadequate. Obviously, I'm rather judgmental on this topic when pressed, and so long as my mother isn't around I have no problem flippantly mentioning that "I've been clipped, and I am very very happy about it." I also suggest that most men go through the procedure as a default, for a wide variety of reasons - not solely for the security brought to the sexual act, either.

In fact, my main reason for not wanting to make any kids is that for all the reasons I hear from people that they decided to follow-through with a pregnancy, in no case had any of them considered the child's opinion on the matter. This is clearly impossible, and in a way that's the point: no one asks to be here, and in many, many cases life itself is of a "net negative" benefit for most of humanity. There is no way to predict the future, so one must ignore the present situation and "hope for the best" when it comes to the possible future of their child. Ignoring the way the world is going is essential to this.

"We have plans for this child of ours," or "We can't let our family line die out," or even xenophobic rants like "We have to breed more than those -other- people," are all parent-centric and selfish. All rationalizations of this kind place a tremendous amount of pressure on that person before they're even born, which is just the worst. Not only did they not ask to be here, but you're forcing obligations on them - beyond enduring existence, that is - but that person is conditioned to have a high-paying job at all costs, to make more kids, and to perform the same selfish acts as their parents and the rest of the dominant, selfish culture before them.

I'm of the opinion that life is about a 50/50 combination of dreadful chore, and a joke. Why would I willingly subject anyone else to that experience? In my view, there's no positive experience available in this day and age that can wipe out the impact from anxieties, fears, health problems, biological needs, social and cultural pressures, environmental degradation, and legitimate risks of harm and violence to a life. These things are found -everywhere- in the world, at all times, and to deny such is delusional at best, and willfully negligent and ignorant at worst.

To bring human life into the world - when we are intelligent and have the means to prevent it - is cruelty to the unborn and innocent. I feel pity for any kid born in this era, and when I meet those who rationalize their birthing I encourage parents to "spoil that kid every chance you have." Death is inevitable, to include all its unknowns. Why deliberately subject someone to that? Yet, parents do that every time they make a kid.

Now, all that being said: did I contribute to the discussion about the topic? Well, I actually wanted to, regardless of the consequences. I wanted to remind people that their rationalizations and justifications had nothing to do with the child's desires, and it was all about their own. "Sacrifice" disregarded (as I do feel as if women put themselves at tremendous risk when they choose to carry a baby to term, justifying a separate discussion itself), making babies and bringing them into the world is largely a selfish, self-centered act. In essence, it's not automatically a bad thing, but it definitely becomes one as soon as you factor in that the child has no say on the event, one way or the other.

Fortunately for the website (and perhaps for my reputation on that discussion forum), the topic had been locked by moderators some time ago. Apparently, I'm not the only one with controversial feelings about such a topic.

My futile wish, for the benefit of those not here yet, is that people will stop making kids. They weren't asked if they want to be born.


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