Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
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2022-12-19 10:51:53 (UTC)

would it be fair

Would it be fair to ask him where his feelings are at right this moment? I honestly hate not knowing where I stand. Saturday when he got home he came to bed and woke me up by tickling my arm (love being touched) anyways I asked how was his party and he said it was fine, I asked him if he missed me and he said he did, not a whole lot but some, he was joking (at least I think). Said he needed a couple hours of sleep before any manipulation could take place, so I waited and yeah, still waiting. Yesterday I went to my parents and played cards with my mom while doing their laundry, then I came home, chilled and went to bed. Mike made chili and spent the day watching sports and western tv. No talking, cuddling, nothing last night at all. This morning there was a good morning, could you get the door for me (he was taking some chili to work for everybody) and have a good day.

I just need to know if we are going to make it, we either are or we aren't, I can't stand not knowing. what does I need time/space mean???
how much time/space does one need? I am super impatient, even though I have learned the lesson of patience over and over (hard lessons) still have poor patience skills, I feel like I could go insane not knowing what the fuck is happening? I need to know, either we get back together and we focus on each other or we don't and I start my life over, either way I have to know.

I'm constantly walking around with a feeling like I'm going to throw up, ugh. Last night, well like I already said Mike made Chili yesterday but last night he made scrambled eggs with toast, he served me a plate and then he took his plate into the bedroom instead of eating out here with me, that makes me so sad, this whole thing just makes me super sad. today I am just sad, and that's ok

today I will cry whenever I need to, I will accept all hugs and forms of love that come my way, I just have to breathe and get through the day

I really have no other choice


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