Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
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2022-12-17 15:12:36 (UTC)

Store

Mike said he had to run to the store before he went to his party, did I need anything?

Frozen shrimp
Fake crab meat
Frozen meatballs
Spaghetti sauce
Coke
Fun dip

Party of 1

If I'm spending the day alone might as well enjoy it right? Just planned on having a relaxing day only doing laundry and nothing else.

He text back he meant like a gas station store, but he would go get that stuff for me. See how can he be so kind and nice to me but not want to be with me? Like as he was leaving for the store just now, we were both petting the cat and when he went to leave he started to lean to give me a kiss, but then it was like he remembered oh yeah we are "separated " and didn't.

I just want him so fucking bad. I want him more than anything but I don't think he feels the same anymore

Like he always said he loved me for me, until he saw the real me and yeah then he all of a sudden isn't so sure?

This is just me spouting off shit about how I think he feels about me I don't know what he is thinking. It used to be so fucking easy. He loved my smile and would do anything to always make me smile.

I'm trying God knows how hard I am trying. I haven't prayed to God to fix this, I don't want any influence on Mike at all I want this to be his choice. I mean of course I pray for my marriage to be saved, everyday, what I mean isn't I'm not praying for God to fix him, I'm asking him to continually fix me and let Mike see that I am worthy of his love and trust

I don't know. Today I'm sad of course because my plan a didn't work but I knew that, still have 2 more weeks before plan b is a fail, which is something Mike now says I do all the time


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