Lilac lavendar2

Starting over
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2022-12-14 11:58:56 (UTC)

shoes

So I did venture out again last night, first I stopped and grabbed his suit, super nice store, didn't realize they had women's stuff too so I shopped there a little bit, didn't find anything. I swear all the nice shoes that would look good with that dress are all more than 6 inch heels, I am an elderly lady, I don't want to break a hip. I just gave up and came home and cleaned my closet, I knew I had shoes in there I could wear. So I might stop tonight and look a couple more places other wise I am just going to use what I already have. The places were packed last night but I had no anxiety at all, everyone seemed to be friendly or maybe it was just because I was being super friendly to everyone. I understand holidays are hard for most people, myself included, so I always try to be extra nice to everyone I encounter.

Still feel like I will always hate shopping though.

I feel like a little kid with all this exciting feelings I have inside. My plan A is to have this party Friday night make Mike realize how much he does indeed love and want me, I plan to dazzle him with my beauty and charm, then we can spend the remaining year laughing about how silly we were and almost walked away from this.

I am not putting all my eggs in this basket, plan B consists of the actual Christmas holiday and New Years Eve, somehow getting him to realize he does indeed love and want me, I plan to show him I am worthy of being trusted, then we can spend the new year laughing about how silly we were and almost walked away from this.

I know this all sounds so silly, but I really don't know what else to do, he says just keep doing what you are doing???? what the fuck am I doing?

somebody help me


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