Dream Scribe

From The Soul.

(For Jamain ~ by way of asking your forgiveness.)

🍂

Shy Boy.

I've never known
what to do with
so much pain.
But I've done
what I've always known :
kept it inside ;
loosely shackled
to a solid bone
of history.
Who ever forgets anyway?
Not me.

Kissing girls
did wonders for it.
Finding love did too.
But you shaft me?
I'll explode on
your sorry ass
faster than lightning.

My first kiss with a girl,
was good.
So nice, it left me wanting
more ; to try it again...
If she'd let me.
No she didn't.
I quietly retreated
into a small, safe room
Inside myself.
A room where nobody
could find me,
No matter how hard they tried.

And I learned to love women
the hard, tough and painful way.
They wanted what I wanted?
They got it.
They're happy, I'm happy.
Then one day, it all exploded
into thin air....
What da fuck do I do now?

I knelt down to pray
For the mercy of my soul
And answers.
There beside me was a
Little green frog with
Large ebony eyes
That melted and mixed with the pain in my young heart.
"Did God send you?"
I asked it.
The tiny animal blinked,
and in slow motion, it hopped
a step or two closer to my knees
and looked up at me.
My face, wet with tears ,of years of hurting ~ a hurt beyond words and reason : Beyond wholesome description.
I never took my eyes off the frog. I wanted him to know what I was feeling inside my broken heart.
As I blinked more tears away, the frog leapt straight at my face and landed smack on my nose. Clinging to it like a shipwrecked soul clings to the safest rock in a stormy sea.
In that moment, I realized that the tears were no more. I would never cry over a woman again for a very long time, and for very different reasons.
That frog saved my heart.
God? I know you heard my prayer.

🍂

(Tears are a whole prayer. Never doubt that.)

~Amanda22Jane, NZ.
I'm smiling now.