Lilac lavendar2
Starting over
Way to celebrate
Ok so Mike said he has always been my biggest supporter and he doesn't like how I make him out to be the bad guy in here. I wasn't. He said he was proud of me he is just worried that it's too soon to tell the whole world (which makes me feel he doesn't trust me) I honestly feel there is safety in numbers the more people that know the more people I would have to think about disappointing IF I ever thought about taking another pill, a safe guard as you will.
Anyways when I went to bed he was already in there so I just crawled in next to him. Next thing I know he rolled over and was about to cuddle me then he said "is this the thing you posted you like?" Yep I was on fire. While I don't think it's physically possible I believe he tried to make me orgasm for every day I have clean
Definitely a way to celebrate 90 days clean for sure. I slept like a rock.
I get Mike's concern I really do opiates have a 85% relapse rate. He just doesn't want me to be over confident. I did tell him that I am confident but not overly so I understand that this is for life. I will never let my guard down but I've got this
To be overly confident to me would be "oh I can take a couple here and there because I can control it now" yeah no I'm just gonna stay the fuck away from it
Mike said "well you said you quit before " yeah and I was in my active addiction so I lied. I have never went through anything like this before in my life, rehab all of it was a game changer. You don't know because we've never talked about it. I can deal with my feelings now. Sure I cry a lot but I'm also going through a lot so yeah
One day at a time~
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