Diary writing person

Slowly descending into madness
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2022-12-05 15:46:55 (UTC)

I have killed a man, his blood is all over my hands

As I was rewatching himym, I understood how my love for this series grew a bit more as I grew too.

On a different topic, he made the midnight video private. Which is, good for me, cause I think I was keeping that thing on loop, torturing myself while watching it, and I kept on watching and watching it again whenever I missed him, or just wanted to talk to him. But since I'm not a normal human being, instead of texting him as a normal person, I just watched the video. I'm pretty sure it didn't even have anything to do with me. I wonder why he made it private. Of course he can see that I keep playing it. Maybe it made him uncomfortable. In that case, I'm sorry. I never intended to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

I'm on my period right now. So, 2 days ago, initially, when he made the video private, I could not take it. :3 I made a huge deal out of it. For the last few days I've been living on the edge. I just keep on feeling, no one gives two shits about me. And it's making me angry. I'm hurting people around me because I'm angry. Life is meaningless. Anything I do is meaningless.

On a funny note, Josh cried to jerry cause Anika went back to her ex, Jerry said that to my ex, my ex told me that dude cried his heart out, I told that to June and we laughed together. I was telling June, why this is super funny to me that he's getting hurt. That he's crying his heart out. I'm on the cloud nine. Nothing gets better than this. Everyone, who ever did any damage to me, I wish all of them their worst point of life. Josh is one of those people. I blame him, and I'll keep on blaming him in my head for whatever bs he did.


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