Subtropical Lady

Where Pelicans Fly
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2022-12-05 03:41:22 (UTC)

Jar Spell

Love how we can now take pictures with the controllers on our Quests. I just wish we had the Pro so the battery would not only be in back and there wouldn’t be so much weight on my face, but also because the Pro lets you play music in one app while using other apps.

Yesterday was a horrible day. Didn’t really have anxiety, but I had a lot of depression. Most of my Facebook “friends” didn’t wish me a happy birthday. I wasn’t surprised, though, and my depression wasn’t tied to my birthday or anything like that. Not even Twitter wished me a happy birthday. LOL. Usually, balloons go floating across the screen.

Although it’s early in my day and I don’t want to get my hopes up, I’m feeling a little better. A few hours after I got up, I felt waves of adrenaline just below the surface of my chest. I thought oh, fuck. If I’m feeling this bad already, I’m in for a horrible night.

Then I meditated and noticed I felt a little better and even more so when I put the jar spell necklace on. I just put the scratchy twine under my collar. Hopefully, it’s really working and not psychosomatic or another one of those wonderful coincidences as if something has designed things in a way to trick and confuse me. It has a mix of herbs and crystals. Like I said, I went through the booklet and pulled out everything associated with better physical and emotional health. Again, I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much, because I’ve had enough of these spells to know how they work. They don’t typically last for days, but more like weeks. Like a cold that you can’t stop or make run its course any faster.

We’re going to the lab this morning, but I don’t have to call the Cologuard people back after all. Yesterday, I put their number in my phone so I would have it ready to call them this morning. But when I called and expected to get a recorded message saying they were closed at the time, an automated message asked if this was Jodi S instead. All they wanted was to know how they could communicate with me, so I opted into texting and out of emails.

I’m not having the runs as much anymore, but still get crampy at times. I don’t usually get so crampy before I go so I’m not 100% better yet. Galileo sent an automated message asking how I was doing and I chose “better, but not 100%” out of their options. Then it asked if I wanted to speak to anybody and I said no, thanks.

I finished the Casey Anthony interview, and now I see her in a different light. And yes, I even have some flickers of doubt as to her guilt. She still could be guilty as fuck and literally the best actress in the world, but as the interviewer was saying, they talked to different psychologists who confirmed that people that young who experience trauma like sexual abuse often carry on as if nothing is wrong and lie as well.

Casey was very articulate and she did seem like she really missed her daughter and had a lot of regrets. She wished she had stood up to her father a lot sooner.

People asked why her father was never regarded as a suspect and my guess is because he was a former cop. It showed a clip of Caylee’s funeral and the father saying that he missed the smell of her hair and the smell of her sweat after she played outside. Who the hell says that?

In another interview with the father after he suffered a car accident, he apologized to Casey and his son but didn’t say what for.

People also question why the father testified for their prosecution in a case he knew could get his own daughter killed. Especially if he thought it was an accident as he claimed.

I also wonder if he threw the bag with the kid in it close to the road to make it look less obvious that he did it since a cop would be smart enough not to do that, you would think.

So the interview ends, leaving the viewer to wonder if perhaps the father was abusing Caylee as well and accidentally smothered her with a pillow which Casey said he would do to her when she resisted, until she passed out, but went too far with the little toddler. They said that if George had accidentally injured the child in some other way, then why no 911 call?

I don’t know what to think for sure anymore, but we’ll probably never know exactly what happened.

I had a dream that Andy invited me over for dinner and his friend Michelle was there only she appeared to be young and small. I decided to polish my nails while I was there and spilled polish all over the place. The place was a mess, too. He had empty bottles of dishwashing liquid sitting on the counter that he hadn't even bothered to throw away.

Michelle asked how long I lived alone when I was young. And I told her for about 8-9 years. She asked if I missed it, and I said no and that being alone for too long wasn't good for me these days, but that I accepted it for what it was and was OK with it. She said she couldn't imagine living with anybody. I told her there was nothing wrong with that and neither could I in my early 20s.

A split second later it wasn't them cooking but a mini restaurant inside his place. An older lady took his and Michelle’s order. I realized I only had $5 of cash on me but then thought they might not let me pay for my food because it was my birthday. But the waitress never asked me what I wanted so I assumed I wouldn’t eat.