2022-12-05 00:58:17 (UTC)


not everything is supposed to be a masterpiece.

the empty canvas was a place for me to insert my thoughts. though sometimes, it feels i'm trying to flex my creativity to an interface which neither knows nor cares. all these keystrokes, i think of gwen saying "you over there typin' like a robot, boy." but in reality, this skill would only matter if the corporate environment needed a typist or stenographer. i don't even type properly, i just use mostly use my index and middle fingers, like i'm striking the buttons with "air quotes." who am i supposed to be and what am i supposed to do? the question of the century, once again, coming to destroy my confidence and create tremendous cognitive dissonance.

at least i know the difference between stateful and stateless firewalls! i am a fortunate soul. if i just learned to be more grateful, maybe i wouldn't be so sad. at least that's what i keep hearing. if gratitude is medicine, then consider me non-compliant. low motivation. low reasoning skills. low energy. low tolerance to deal with shit.

how do i break it.