Evolving marriage
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2022-11-28 14:20:15 (UTC)

Update Life

Dear Diary,
Good Morning. Ever since my trip Im waking up early and I enjoy keeping this routine, in bed by around 10pm and up around 5-6am. I get alone time each morning to sit and write in the dark or read something, have the Christmas tree lights on and wrapped up in a blanket or robe on the couch.

Skies look like snow weather, did yesterday also, may have some this wk. I need to do my workout today at home. Ive been suffering the bloating again and Im all Wtheck as I dont think IM eating a lot. But I think its the Annies Cheese puffs! Haha from Costco. I had some middle of day yesterday and it just lasts all eve the bloating even still in the am. When I elimate carbs, that goes away. I mean I had some potatoes, with the pot roast we finished off last night, but I dont think some cut up potatoes caused the bloat.

So need to get after it today, thank you Street Smart for his gym encouraging blog. Husband has been in the gym more now and said hes lost 15 pds and is starting to feel his shape again, but since hes much older, he says its like the fat floats over the muscle, thats what different about working out near 50 as opposed to in your 20s. He used to really be into body building and strength training when we met, and hes got a lot of knowledge on it, but just slacked off for so long. He is into weight lifting and commented how his body always did well with light cardio and weight lifting. And Ive watched a lot of videos on as we age, men and women, that you need to keep lifting heaving things.

So not sure what all I will do this wknd. A walk/run at the school track would be good but cold. Visiting the holiday market thats on Saturdays? But then there that temptation to just by a bunch of stuff I shouldnt eat? So maybe I should skip today? There will be several more. Maybe tomm we will drive out to the little coffee shop and enjoy?

So we got a new bumper cover piece on the vehicle, not sure if I wrote, someone hit it parked in front of our home and didnt tell us! And I saw the couple who did it, but didnt know they hit the vehicle, we are in a smaller town and im tempted to write a post on the facebook group about it, I think they were practicing parrallel parking using my brand new vehicle driving a stick and hit the back as they were up really close and I looked out the window puzzled by what was happening, a day or so later husband noticed it as we just parked it backward in the driveway that eve. I had to pay for that and then our first month owning the new vehicle a valve stem was bad and leaking air, I was in the middle of nowhere small farm town out of state and not anywhere near a dealer and got it replaced, and it had to be ordered as they have sensors. Well it worked fine, but I was bummed it was bad at one month, small fix $25 and went on, then the sensor wasnt reading and having errors, told dealer twice, said I needed to leave it (Im like just check the valve stem!) so we dropped it off finally and of course charged us $300 to do that cause well you have to sync it with the sensors or something? WHatever, just spent $900 on a new vehicle we paid full cash for. Not impressed with the dealer on so many levels (this is Toyota by the way) We had have our paint dinged twice, and we paid for the warranty for paint chips, but yeah, read the warranty in depth, is does nothing for practical stuff, you know its more like if sap drops on it and messes with your paint only type thing??? WTF?

Anyways I like the vehicle, I like how it rides and feels, but not happy with our dealership any time I have gone in. Before I was at the Ford dealership and my God they were awesome! Always on top of everything, not nickle and dimining me, good job, friendly and competent service, direct phone numbers to my rep for the day not thru the dealer, and a car wash. I got so spoiled and love being there, the Toyota is nothing like this which is a bummer as I expected way better.

So husband is still out of work, putting in for jobs but its a tough time of yr to do so. I really hope hes back to work soon to be honest, so we get some sense of a routine for us both again. Its just not a time in our lives where I want to get away with him and do things, and we have a trip to the California Coast planned for the month of Jan. He was to work remote while we were there and have done past few yrs, but now hes without a job. So will see how all this goes, or if he gets a job and cant do the trip, Ill go solo. Have been going there for 20 yrs. ANd if I cancel I loose $1000 as its a beach type area home rental. And a way to get out of the winter for a month each yr in our new state.

He is starting to do the things he hasnt since that knee injury and surgery. Such as get on his knees for sex, hes done it twice briefly, hes very scared about it and the Dr said hes good to go, he just has to regain his confidence back for sports, etc. Hes got the green light, but hes so timid and over careful about feeling discomfort or pain. So I told him Im more then happy to let him have practice getting on top of me :). He hasnt been able to do that for almost a yr, and I said how I missed feeling him on top of me. And he is going to the gym more now and is starting to feel good in that area. He used to be into weight lifting and all that when we met, so hes FINALLY going again, taken so long for him to start, literally since we dated he has slacked off with just moments at home mixed along the way or Ju Jitsu was his thing but I think why he was injured so easily, he wasnt working out, his body wasnt in shape, he wasnt flexible, he was stiff, tight, etc. YOu cant keep doing that stuff up to your 50s it will ruin you. Hes also returning to competitive shooting this month, he had stopped that since the surgery too as you have to get on your knees, lay on the ground, all types of positions, So hes going this month. So will be nice to have him have somewhat of some hobbies and a life again, now he just needs a job, I dont really care what it is,, just something he can do even if part time.

The contractor I hired back where we purchased the house near the homestead out of state, started working on thurs! So hes going to be ripping out the floors of the kitchen, bath and front porch, the floor joists are bad, carpenter ant damage. 1900 house. So Ill be curious as to how this goes, its a pricey job, but the house was cheap and I factored that in and got $10,000 knocked off the price as a result. This job is costing $15,000 around to just redo and that part, thats not the full remodel, we are doing it in 2 stages. So right now is stage 1. And I plan to keep this home for a long time, be a part time home? Be a part time vacation rental? Could we end up living there one day? WHo knows...

All I know is, I have a huge beautiful piece of property that is fully landscaped, beautiful, scenic, in a small town of 75, with rich family history all over that area and my relatives in the cemeteries all around it and my great great grandfather actually first purchased the land that is now this town from money he got from Finding Gold in California. I mean how cool is that story!? His daughter was the one who lived on my other property, the old house was built by her husband as a wedding gift. THis was my Grandmothers Aunt, Dads side, and my Grandma moved in and took care of her till her death and was given the home, thus where my Dad grew up, and the land I now own and the tiny town where my Dad and Grandparents are buried. Land has been in family since the 1800s. So I just feel so at home there, I love it, but it does get super cold in winter (Jan/Feb Im told are the worse) and super humid in summer. So I figure Ill be bouncing around, but wow, the house is adorable so I want it in tip top shape and overall its in pretty good shape for its age, the last couple lived there 50 yrs. So the whole side Im getting fixed and up to snuff and remodeling the ktichen and bath while Im at it. But to still look old, not modern. And hes replacing a beam in the basement under the dining room that looks scary.

But I have a garage there, and a workshop and several adorable outbuildings on the property, and gorgeous huge trees, and some of those Blue Spruce I believe called PInes! Ive always wanted some and I have many! The property is 2 side by side lots, so eventually I can put a huge barn/workshop on the other one, or I can put in a tiny house, actually maybe 4 if I want would fir there ideally and have rentals right on my property, the lot is gorgeous, could be pretty for weddings or events also. I imagine night time and string lights strung from the trees. The place makes me really happy. I wonder some days will it be my full time home.

I love where we live currently and our home and the weather here is incredible compared to there.

I have family all in California, and then my relatives are all in the midwest, my cousins, remaining aunts, and I can see them more regularly now and they fill in the gaps after losing my parents. Ive seen them more last 2 yrs then my own siblings. And I just got a wedding invite for my cousins daughter! I have to pick up the mail to see the date, Im sure I will most likely be able to go but depends when it is!

So I have a real sense of belonging there.

My big sis is really concerning me, shes 62 and has been on that drug ozempic, she has health issues and always has, keeps saying shes pre diabetic but I know shes been full on diabetic for yrs and in denial but shes lost a bunch of weight on ozempic, and she has a labor job, and she told me peopel are commenting on her that she looks diff and whats going on. Just read an article today on how celebs are using ozempic and that there is a look, their faces are gaunt, so I wonder if thats what my sisters coworkers are seeing? Shes irrational and saying "Its the word of God in me causing me to look different to them" What??? And then she called me before work this wk telling me to watch a video then listen to Cat Stevens Moon Shadow and peace train after it some video on the Star SPangled banner, but Im all ??? How do these all tie together as she wanted me to watch then comment back to her. I didnt see the connection and shes slipping mentally. I can tell it from our last call something is going on, shes sounding more paranoid, delusional? I dont know but its not good. And shes already had a stroke an stents put in, doesnt take care of her health, diet and the ozempic takes away her appetite so shes not eating much. I dont know the long term effects of that drug as its super popular right now. And Ive considered trying it for weight loss but all this stuff scares me. Whats the long term effects. So Im just watching for now how people do.

Well Im gonna go now, I can hear husband shuffling around, he takes forever to get out of bed, and I miss having the bed to myself each am, hes in there till almost noon on his phone after he wakes and dominate the space, so now I get up early and sit on the couch to be alone.