Life of secrets
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2022-12-01 18:06:16 (UTC)


Viewed a house today. It was in a beautiful location but unfortunately the house itself was too small and probably not practical. It needs a lot of work done to it as well. Also not practical. We have another to see on Saturday. This one, I’m sure, is bigger.

Not sure if we can even get a mortgage either. My husband is holding onto his job but I feel it’s just a matter of time before he’s laid off. I’ve married someone who has made it so hard for me to have anything.

And before you say anything, I did leave, once. But I am stupid. I went back. I had my chance and I went back!! Now I’m tired, worn out, can’t cope with even a little bit of drama, probably suffering with some sort of PTSD, and I just keep the peace because I can’t deal with the anxiety of anything going wrong.

Yes I have a therapist. I lie to her too.