DanniCharlotte

Being discharged

Well, being discharged, discharging myself, whichever way, I'm leaving tonight
I somehow need to get through tomorrow
Not sure how
Then back to work thursday
Dont know how ill do that either
I dont think I can do it
But I have no choice
Not been able to talk to my manager all day and wont get to talk to her tomorrow so I guess it means I have to be back thursday
Then figure life out over the weekend
As a friend said when I figure out life over the weekend, to figure out my life
I need to work out how
And where I get to fit in treatment amongst crying, working, figuring out life and family, i guess treatment has to be put on hold

I feel super shit tonight physically
Prodded poked and tested all day
My hands and wrist are bruised from missing veins with cannula
But none of this is anything in comparison to losing Erin

The more the day goes on the more the enormity of tomorrow is hitting me
I've thrown up twice
Physically shaking
I'm so weak

I dont know how I'll get through it but i will have to and will try do Erin proud and not be a wreck
What I know for sure is I don't want to stand and read what I wrote to Erin in front of his family