who_am_i

Just a teenager
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2022-11-25 14:50:33 (UTC)

I still want to die

and at this point I don't think this feeling will ever go away.It's a part of me,it's engraved in my psyche and it's my place of comfort.I find life deeply worthless and though I believe it can be meaningful,it's totally up to your will.You choose if life is worth it or not and unless you decide otherwise there's zero point in being here.I believe we can not stop existing so even if we die we still remain and what I find meaningless is the idea that the human experience is the highest form of being.It is literally a sin in every abrahamic religion to kill yourself.What makes you believe it's worth an eternity of suffering? Does god value this concious veil more than of a tree? I don't want to be diffrenciated.I want to be able to choose to end this experience with my free will. Why is it made almost impossible by society? Let me stop this suffering. Every method is painful and none guarantees succsess,so don't fucking tell me I already have the choice.You think I'd be here if I did? To kill yourself you have to lose your mind and do it without giving a thought.That is not free will.Not having this choice makes me despise living even more.


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