⚡ Silent Thunder ⚡
⛈️ The Storms Within ⛈️
⚠️ Trigger; I Died
I cannot tell you the year, month, day, nor even the hour it happened. But at some point I ceased to live..
I'm a ghost
Screaming into the night
Hoping in a brief moment of silence that someone might hear me..
That someone might...
I want to say care,
But I think what I really mean to say is;
That someone might rescue me.
To need a rescuer.
To need someone to reach out and catch me
As my body falls limp into theirs.
I can hear my dad's voice...
Stand up you little slut..
Wipe those eyes..
Don't be so weak.
And I would...
I'd stand, letting my gown fall down to just above my knees that were bruised from kneeling on the hard tile floor.
I'd push the lace shoulder straps back in place, only to have them fall around my arms again...
And then I'd take that big red towel,
Run a corner of it under the faucet and wipe my eyes.
I always used cold water...
I don't know why, or what it was about the sensation but it always seemed to for lack of a better word.. revive me.
I can stand in the shower..
Letting icy water cascade over my body..
And I can't feel anything but my cramping muscles and shaking bones.
For comfort I reach for my electric blanket..
Heat setting, High.
I wrap it around me tightly
Close eyes...and envision a body holding me. Sweet nothings being whispered in my ear...
The voice; Unrecognizable.
I stay in the fantasy for awhile..
My body relaxes
And it would seem that I'm fine.
No one can see the difference.
They see my smile
And the sparkle of my baby blues
And walk right on past.
And it's fine.
I am fine.