Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
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Emotions Overwhelmed Me ❤️
Listening to: Sorry seems to be the hardest word - Blue ft Havasi
First! Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends! I hope it was filled with love, laughter, and family!
It's been a good few days. I have been busy but busy is good :) I went out to an early dinner tonight with a friend and it was really good. Was nice to catch up. I am now home and in my jammies lol. He was telling me about this new dessert at Loblaws. It's a dupe for the Keg's Billy Miner Pie but it's an ice cream version and apparently, it tastes identical. I think I may have to venture on over tomorrow and see if I can find it lol. I love Billy Miner Pie, soo yummy.
As I was driving home tonight from dinner. A song came on the radio and it was a remake of an oldie favorite of mine. It's by Elton John called "Sorry seems to be the hardest word" This version is done by Blue ft. Havasi. It made me immediately emotional. I felt tears well up in my eyes as memories and emotions overwhelmed me. Mostly over past relationships and heartbreaks. Let me say first. I have only truly loved a few times in my life. I take those words so serious. I will not say them unless I see a forever. I have always been the type to fight for relationships whether romantic or friendships. I don't give up on someone easily. I am usually the one to forgive so much, sometimes too much. I am the one who fights to keep the relationship together. I am not saying others haven't. It's just in history, I have been the one fighting like hell while the others either chose to damage it beyond repair or threaten to leave. I am always told I am unlike any other, how they've never loved like this, will do anything to keep me or that they'll never hurt me but I always end up hurt. Either cheated on or taken for granted. Have I left relationships? Yes, many.. Usually due to one of those reasons but not until I have exhausted myself or lost myself in fighting for someone who never fought for me until they realized I was done. Why is it so hard for someone to say "I fucked up" or "I'm sorry"...Why is it so hard to fight for something you claim you cannot live without? Is giving up easier? Is living without easier? Why push me to the point where I see no choice but to leave? I will never give up on someone who gives as much as they get, ever. I will never stop fighting for someone who will never stop fighting for me. I will not lose myself fighting a losing battle. I am not saying to fight for a relationship that is bad in any way. It means choosing them, every single day. Working through any issue that arrives and not eyeing the door. I am not perfect but I love with all my heart. Blah, where did that rant come from? haha. Anyways, that's where my mind went when that song came on. I fought back tears for the remainder of the ride home. Music is a huge trigger of mine. Almost every memory can be traced back to a song.
I have to work tomorrow and then I am off again until next Friday. Not sure why I am staying at this job one day a week. Financially I am ok so it's not like it's dire but I do enjoy working. I just prefer working at a job that values me and this place seems to have slipped greatly from when I first joined. The greatest boss left on mat leave and it seemed to have gone downhill from there lol. I will stick it out a bit longer and just enjoy my time off over the holidays :)
My yard is all packed away and ready for the winter. Patio furniture is away but my hot tub will remain active as I do enjoy soaking in it during the winter. I have been in it almost daily lol. It's a bit chilly coming out but sooo worth it lol. I do miss my cottage though. I will be making a trip up soon just to see how it's doing. My uncle watches over it from his cabin next door but I do miss it so want to go.
Ok, off to go cuddle in bed with my pup as I do some reading.
Have a beautiful night!💜