nobody

nobody
2022-11-22 08:01:06 (UTC)

family issues

I just got back to Florida and have been exhausted from flying. My mom broke her foot. Has to have surgery. I don't have much of a relationship with her. She was very controlling growing up and at the same time never really a mom to me. Always more concerned with all her boyfriends. Never helped me out with anything because she said I was interfering with her social life so I gave up asking for anything after awhile. Anyway my sister texted me who I also have little to no relationship with. Haven't seen her in years we text each other happy birthday to keep it peaceful. Used the opportunity to text me asking if I was gonna come home and help take care of her. I said maybe at some point but I had a lot going on now and live half way across the country so it's hard for me, but I could send money for a caretaker. This upset her she replied she doesn't need money she needs you and went on about how ungrateful I am and brought up how they had to deal with all my shit when I was hospitalized for anorexia and suicide attempt so I need to step up and actually be there for her. I feel like this was unnecessary to bring up because it was all 10 years ago and not stuff I want to think about. Also she wasn't the same mother to me as her because she favored my sister for being more normal and told me I was the difficult child. For example when I was recovering from anorexia I was told I was not allowed to go out with friends but my younger sister was and when I asked why my mom said because you're anorexic you'll use it as an opportunity to skip a meal, I can trust her at least. She also taught her to drive but I wasn't allowed to learn. One time I broke down crying and said why can't I just be treated normal like her and my sister chimed in because I am normal, you're a freak so you get treated like one. This was all many many years ago, but even now she still brings up my anorexia and suicide attempt and tries to guilt trip me.

Speaking of my family my dad has also been texting me lately. I'm not sure how he found my number, but somehow he did. And if you think my mom and sister sound rough they are saints compared to him. I honestly think he might be a sociopath. Extremely abusive. I think him and my moms second husband who was also abusive (divorced less than a year later went to jail or domestic violence) and various other boyfriends are part of the reason my sister grew up to be such a bitch, but I'm trying to be civil and avoid conflict for the time being because I'm supposed to be out here healing and don't need the drama. My mom has never acknowledge or helped me with any of my health issues, so it kind of annoys me how I'm expected to be there for hers, especially when I've already been flying and traveling so much I just wanted to stay put and rest for a bit, but at the same time I don't need the drama right now so I might go for a couple days to appease her and my sister...




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